Someone who wants to write just for the hell of seeing his thoughts

Waste of Time

When i think about the end of any of my relationships

I see it as a waste of time

I think about it in concrete terms

I think about days invested

Anywhere from three months

To eight years

Gone in a blink

Money included

Vanished from my wallet

After hours of work

Money i lent

That can never be recouped

I think about days i took off to help

Hold someone's hand or be there while someone is hurting

Look over their finances or look over there hurt

And days i used to treat something for my partner

But using seconds to only treat myself

Days that were my own changing to days that are now gone

I think about all the meals paid for

All the drinks that were bought

All the gifts that were given towards my partner

While i can't remember the last time i was ever treated

Looking back it feels like diminishing returns

But in hindsight that's probably why they fail

Looking at relationships in concrete

Rather than viewing them as an experience

Being so concerned with how to treat my partner

And less of how to experience life with them

Looking back maybe they also view the relationship the same

Being constantly doted on rather than living with

Having a caretaker and not a partner

Not someone that takes them on as an equal

Resentment forming on either party towards the other

For a dynamic that does not come with love but with judgement

In reverse i can now see the valid argument of me

Being a waste of time


Fatigue

My Toy