Someone who wants to write just for the hell of seeing his thoughts

Fatigue

I can't keep my eyes open

Even though i woke up two hours ago

And slept for eight

I can't keep my thoughts on track

I think about what's important in my life

What do i really want

Why i am so mad at everyone

Why i want to burn down every relationship around me

Call my mother a illiterate loser

My partner at the moment a cunt

And my father a distant stranger

Just so i can at least have someone be hurt

Someone for a split goddamn second be nothing but a flood of tears

Hey look they got muffins at this cafe

And i love banana muffins

I remember an ex of mine used to make really good banana pancakes

She never really liked me though

She liked how i could easily help her with homework

But goddamn did she have a nice ass

And like i said great banana pancakes

I can't remember if that was a red or not I ran

Oh well thank god that one doesn't have a camera

I already smoked half a pack of Menthol’s this morning

It’s barely noon

Why did she say i only used her till i found something better?

She already had a boyfriend and was living with him

What was i supposed to do?

Besides it's not like that other relationship ended better anyway

She said she was sick of seeing me asleep and not going out cause i was tired

Working extra hours at odd times just to make sure everything was OK

I never felt happier until i was so drunk i could stop feeling everything i ever felt

Why are these Starbucks drive-thru’s so long around 1 pm?

I really want a matcha green tea

There was this girl i knew who loved matcha drinks

We never got together but she always seemed nice and was cute too

Always wore jeans that hug her just right

I'm pretty sure she has a kid now

Haven't heard from her in awhile

I wonder if she is single?

-Honk Honk-

Oh fuck there are no cars in front me

I pull up and order a venti matcha drink

I also feel like i can see random lines out of the corner of my eye

Almost like ghosts in daylight

Shouldn't exist but they are there

I pull up and grab my drink

My siblings I'm pretty sure hate me

My brother probably thinks I'm a loser

And my sister finds me weird as hell

I don't think they like me cause i don't know how to relax

Or have fun

When did they open up a new Chick Fil-A?

I love those stupid frosted lemonades

Even though they clearly still have an issue with gay people

My youngest sister is just like me and i love her a lot

But i know I’m a disappointment in her eyes as well

I should have finished school instead of having fun

The one time i felt comfortable doing so

Is the one time it bit me in the ass

I still remember my mother giving me my first poetry book

And i filled it with nothing but anger and distrust of people

God what is wrong with me

-Honk Honk-

Oh shit that time i definitely ran a red, almost t-bone that guy

I can barely keep my eyes open

I’m pretty sure most of my friends consider me a failure as well

The other day i held a razor in my hand

I felt the strongest temptation ever

God it felt so right to hold it

I wonder if anyone will ever really cry when i die

It feels like its gonna happen either the end of this year or end of this week

Fuck at least I will get some sleep

I still haven’t had a sip yet

-sip sip-

-gulp-

…………..

Man I am tired

It's hard to keep my mind on track

I always get cranky when i don't get any sleep


Liar

Waste of Time