Someone who wants to write just for the hell of seeing his thoughts

Alone with you

We talk but you don't pay attention

I look into your brown eyes and red hair

Round face with piercings

Silver on your lips


And Eyebrows

Light skin dotted with freckles

Your skin is constantly getting new and new freckles each week and i love it

Like a color blind test

But i know you can't describe one feature on my face

Your eyes wander to your phone

Images that provide more entertainment than my words

Telling you little anecdotes of cats and well more cats

So many fucking cats

You laugh but i haven't said a word

You laugh at everything you say

Your day

Your thoughts

Your emotions

Why am i even around right now if not to be a placeholder

My hands are on you but you are not with me

Eyes closed, i never feel the affections come back

You never place your hands on me and i never really get to feel that comfort

I know you and your body

Your fears and desires

How it was hard when parents never held you

and siblings never wanted anything with you

You like old things like books and ships

Big fan of nautical adventure

The sea is your playground

You told me everything you knew about the inner workings of a cutter

Hell i didn't even know what the fuck you meant by a cutter

You explained it all to me

There was mysticism in your eyes

You were so excited to share those things

That and mystery novels of old

Sherlock was your best friend

Especially when Becky took your than 6th grade boyfriend Keith from you

You had him to hold onto your tears

While Watson gave you some tea

You are a Scorpio

November 5th, 1985

Always focused

I remember you telling me how much you love Presley

On our first date i had nothing but Elvis on the playlist as we drove around

Love me tender played during our first kiss

My birthday passed and you congratulated me after the fact

Even though i had invited you out to dinner that day

You were too tired to see me

I ate a cupcake with a single candle at a table for two

You were shocked your sister and my mom have the same name

It was the fifth time you were surprised

We walked by the place we first met two years ago

I gestured over to it seeing if it sparked a memory

You were on the phone

You forgot to email the spreadsheets for the next quarter budget

Its crazy how hard you work

Its impressive to say the least

I turn off my phone whenever we have days off together

But you know maybe we have different priorities

Its funny even though we are together

I see you night and day

You are my first thought of the morning

And my last worry of the night

Right now……..

I have never felt more alone


Things I should have said Vol. I